Monday, January 30, 2017

Paiden Tucker

  My Symbol
Strength of Will By Daniel Gerhartz
Image result for famous paintings about strength

2 comments:

  1. I really love your humor in this essay. It really shows off your personality and the way the Cube makes you feel. Can you maybe elaborate on why the car has to be tough? I would change "Me and my family" in the fourth para. to "My family and I". In the fourth para. I would take out also and just put a comma there in the last sentence. :)

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  2. I really love the jokes in your story. It really lets the reader knows how the cube makes you feel. Maybe you can change up saying "this is what I want people to think of me" because you say it a lot, maybe not in those exact words but something like that. Other than that there isn't a lot to change. Over all this is a really great story and something very simple to think and talk about.

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